It begins where we failed; the end of a broken road, the end of any chance we had at being whole, at being a home. Happiness on our own never seemed like an option; we had the right cards but even still we could do nothing but lament our fate and watch as they all fell to our feet in our mad rush to fold.
Coffee dredges swirling around in a green and white Styrofoam cup, as if by moving the cold remains of what used to be a steaming, filling beverage can reinvigorate that comfortable warmth into your bones.
~In this scenario, I am the cup and you are the patron. You drink from me until I no longer have anything else to give, then you toss me away because coffee can be bought anywhere, and it’s really fairly cheap.~
So we ended, big deal, right? It didn’t stop the world, not even for a second. Everything happened just the same. I was still expected to go into work the next day at 7AM, I had classes to attend, you had to be home by 10PM or else your Dad would ask questions, my car was still parked outside on the street, and when I wake up to go to work at 7AM and I open my car door it will still smell just like you…
~Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I’m sure it’s because I’m the world’s biggest idiot, ignoring something as necessary as common sense in my rush to justify your every move in the name of…this is not love; this is obsession, infatuation, pure idiocy in the name of raging hormones and a fear of being alone with nothing but time to twiddle away.~
One thought on “My heart doesn’t want to recognize that you’re gone, so I’ve learned to live without either of you.”
Oh. Grief hurts. I feel like I can relate to this. Honor those feelings and give yourself space to move through those feelings. So hard. Wish I could give you a hug.
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