Drawing from the well of experience I’ve gathered over the past 25 years of existence, I can draw one solid conclusion about my life: I’m a coward.

I’m spending my days folding up clouds and lining my pockets with dandelion flowers. Cradled in the allure of these soft, sweet distractions, it takes a moment for my mind to register that I’m shivering underneath a waterlogged sweatshirt. I think I want to walk away, to find some cover from the rain, but the … Continue reading Drawing from the well of experience I’ve gathered over the past 25 years of existence, I can draw one solid conclusion about my life: I’m a coward.

“My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.”

All I could do was watch, As if it had nothing to do with me. Useless, bloated body,  Avalanching peaks dipping in my valley’s, Asymmetrical pieces carved from my breast, Burying this heart in another creature's chest. Screams echo empty tragedy In vibrant, blinking reds Breaking across my retina’s, Burning into my memories Another unmitigated … Continue reading “My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.”

It’s never as bad as I think it is, until I realize every bottle in my cabinet is empty, and all I can do is wait and see if I’m going to wake up and find tomorrow, or never wake up again.

I think my subconscious is trying to force my throat shut so I can’t keep downing these pills like fucking skittles. Haha, jokes on me, I’ve spent my entire life forcing bullshit out of my mouth, so forcing some more shit back down? It’s easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, … Continue reading It’s never as bad as I think it is, until I realize every bottle in my cabinet is empty, and all I can do is wait and see if I’m going to wake up and find tomorrow, or never wake up again.

My heart doesn’t want to recognize that you’re gone, so I’ve learned to live without either of you.

It begins where we failed; the end of a broken road, the end of any chance we had at being whole, at being a home. Happiness on our own never seemed like an option; we had the right cards but even still we could do nothing but lament our fate and watch as they all … Continue reading My heart doesn’t want to recognize that you’re gone, so I’ve learned to live without either of you.

No matter how far I go, from shoreline to shoreline, begging refuge from coastguards and strange light towers, I never drift far enough to find an Ocean without at least an ounce of you.

You'll find me in Belgium,  On the coast of the North Sea.  I'll be swaying on the current,  The salty spray of the tide  Running me towards the Strait of Dover.  It bears my essence as it crashes,  A crushing cerulean weight To turn rock into sand,  And sailors dreams into restless sleep.

“In a world that’s constantly trying to tear you down, there’s always meaning in standing back up.”

You’ve spent so much time breaking your own heart, you’ve forgotten what it means to be whole. You think you are only half filled, half complete, but you weren’t born that way, and you’ve lost nothing over the years that you can’t grow back all on your own. You are still bright, my firefly. You … Continue reading “In a world that’s constantly trying to tear you down, there’s always meaning in standing back up.”