It’s as far away as the ends of the ever expanding universe, but also here, in this tiny, 1 bedroom apartment. Hope is always here, you just have to look.

“You know, it’s a big universe out there, so giving up, when there’s no limit to what can happen, that seems a bit premature, wouldn't you say?” ~But the universe doesn’t care, right? Just because it’s big and limitless doesn’t mean it has to have carved out a special piece or place or moment just … Continue reading It’s as far away as the ends of the ever expanding universe, but also here, in this tiny, 1 bedroom apartment. Hope is always here, you just have to look.

“I gave you a world of words, not leaving myself a single letter. So now I am speechless, and you’re just drowning in alphabet soup.”

I wanted to take my time with each word I wrote for you. I wanted to be as deliberate as possible, so everything had to have the perfect amount of weight. When you would read my letter you’d be able to hear my voice, like I was lying right there beside you, You’d have no … Continue reading “I gave you a world of words, not leaving myself a single letter. So now I am speechless, and you’re just drowning in alphabet soup.”

He took the time between typing shaky lines to peak outside that office window, and wouldn’t you know, it was just wind and snow, but that white somehow felt like a clean slate.

Some people bruise really easily. My Mom is like that; she once just slipped walking up the stairs and her entire forearm was a mess of purple and red. I remember because I was about 9, and seeing that freaked me out. I was crying and screaming and running the the phone, ready to dial … Continue reading He took the time between typing shaky lines to peak outside that office window, and wouldn’t you know, it was just wind and snow, but that white somehow felt like a clean slate.

It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..

But I love him...That was always my excuse at the end of every day that summer. Those nights spent awake wishing to be anything but real, the face of a harsh reality was revealed, and every special moment broken. You felt special because he was yours? People are not possessions. When you do that, you … Continue reading It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..

Your back in Ohio, and I’m backed into another corner.

Will things really be okay, because it feels like we’re breaking And just leaving things alone means physics will take hold; An object in motion will stay in motion, so doing nothing is something; It means accepting that falling apart is as normal for us as breathing.   But I’m not feeling comfortable in this … Continue reading Your back in Ohio, and I’m backed into another corner.

My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.

Now, right now, I cannot focus my eyes. They water in the bright light, damaged by any image aside from the pitch black. My feet are cold under my white and gray socks. I am shaking. I feel sick. I want to run, far away, but find myself captured in a million different social situations. Talking; I … Continue reading My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.

It’s the same dream every night. No matter what I try, my mind can only slip back into one train of thought, down the only path I can’t follow…

It’s so warm here, lying next to her. We are only holding hands, but that is enough to feel her everything. When we are this close I just want her to talk, talk about anything under the Sun and beyond. She’s close enough that the words come out in a whisper, and I feel like … Continue reading It’s the same dream every night. No matter what I try, my mind can only slip back into one train of thought, down the only path I can’t follow…

I’m tired of seeing things that existed before you now as nothing else but reminders of you. I can’t erase you…but I’d give anything to have those things back, without you..

She reminds you of birthday cake and lavender hand soap. Her smile contains hints of vanilla summers and cinnamon winter's. She speaks, and it sounds like the popping of fresh movie theater popcorn and the fizzling of a perfectly topped off cup of Coca-Cola. You hold her hand, and warmth rushes through your body like … Continue reading I’m tired of seeing things that existed before you now as nothing else but reminders of you. I can’t erase you…but I’d give anything to have those things back, without you..

You can tell all the lies you want, pretend it never happened and try to live a normal life, but in the end you lost something you can’t replace nor get back, so sometimes okay isn’t an option.

Every step seems like the last one my body will allow me to take, even though my door can’t be more than a few feet from the furthest point of this cramped apartment. From end to end it’s a simple box with walls to create more boxes, and all of them are small and have … Continue reading You can tell all the lies you want, pretend it never happened and try to live a normal life, but in the end you lost something you can’t replace nor get back, so sometimes okay isn’t an option.