“I’m not going to waste my time screaming into the void. I’m going to find you, plant my feet, and from my own mouth, say the words I need to hear the most.”

I wish I could tell you How much I miss you Without it having to feel So pathetic. I don’t expect you To return to me Any of the things I gave to you. I just want a chance To say the things I’m still feeling. You don’t have to listen. Even though … Continue reading “I’m not going to waste my time screaming into the void. I’m going to find you, plant my feet, and from my own mouth, say the words I need to hear the most.”

“Something is only considered trash because someone comes along and labels it as trash. So when I say I’m trash, it’s not that I’m inherently nothing, but after 20 some years of experiences, I can’t define myself as anything but trash.”

There was nothing I could have done.. ~Do you really believe that? That there was nothing you could have done, nothing at all?~ I just wanted to be loved, to feel what love was supposed to be, that forever and always type of love that grows stronger each day, bringing smiles and family and so … Continue reading “Something is only considered trash because someone comes along and labels it as trash. So when I say I’m trash, it’s not that I’m inherently nothing, but after 20 some years of experiences, I can’t define myself as anything but trash.”

Her hands trace over your body, And as they move down your neck The butterflies in your stomach Melt into a solid mass Of fear and uncertainty For what her hands will find… The scars you’ve tried to hide In your summer hoodies And forced affinity for jeans. Her fingers reach your shoulder, Burning … Continue reading “I loved the way she touched me, the way she ran her hands over my past without reservation.”

It’s nothing more than simple math; if you add 0 to anything, it doesn’t do a damn thing. I used to think I was a 0, that I was just nothingness floating through space, not contributing anything of value, but also not taking anything away. Over time I started to feel that I couldn’t be … Continue reading “In the end, it ends how it began; you weren’t there, and you aren’t here, and I’m sure I’d be fine, if you just stayed..”

When I’m talking to you, I never feel like I’m ever talking “at” you. Like, when I’m telling you a story about work, or about something I did as a kid, or something I imagined I’d do someday, I know your listening. I’m not sure how I know, I just do. It probably has to … Continue reading “For every day I spent believing I deserved to be alone, you promised to help me find all of them, so you could show me that there was never a time when I didn’t deserve love.”

You'll find me in Belgium, on the coast of the North Sea. I'll be swaying on the current, the salty spray of the tide running me towards the Strait of Dover. It bears my essence as it crashes, a crushing cerulean weight to turn rock into sand and sailors dreams into restless sleep. And somewhere … Continue reading “My thoughts are a ship, and I’m no sailor. But the prospect of sinking to the bottom of the sea…it doesn’t sound entirely terrible at the moment.”

My smile isn’t what it used to be. I’ve managed to put some miles on my smile, which is inevitable for anybody who’s ever allowed another person into their heart. That sounds negative, but it’s a neutral fact of life. Honestly, if I were to meet an adult whose smile shined as if it had … Continue reading “I want to give you pretty things, like seashells, forehead kisses and promises I’ll never break.”

Whenever I’m alone, the darkness starts to set in, and I devolve into a mass of guilt and cruelty. I recognize my own sins for what they are; conscience decisions made in the face of a two-faced God. All of the good I’ve accomplished in this world is credited to my creator, while any evil … Continue reading “You walk around in the shadow of your sins, looking for an Ocean to drown out the last dredges of your humanity.”