All I could do was watch, As if it had nothing to do with me. Useless, bloated body, Avalanching peaks dipping in my valley’s, Asymmetrical pieces carved from my breast, Burying this heart in another creature's chest. Screams echo empty tragedy In vibrant, blinking reds Breaking across my retina’s, Burning into my memories Another unmitigated … Continue reading “My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.”
Counting the years through Summers alone, But I can’t take back those Winter’s of yours Those icy, blue days, I’m begging to change, Cause I know I’ll never call you home again. What am I after? What do I need? What will help to set me free? My memories linger, through bottles and rage And … Continue reading I have waited long enough, so please let me come home. Let me feel that warm embrace and call me to the pyre.
I think my subconscious is trying to force my throat shut so I can’t keep downing these pills like fucking skittles. Haha, jokes on me, I’ve spent my entire life forcing bullshit out of my mouth, so forcing some more shit back down? It’s easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, … Continue reading It’s never as bad as I think it is, until I realize every bottle in my cabinet is empty, and all I can do is wait and see if I’m going to wake up and find tomorrow, or never wake up again.
It begins where we failed; the end of a broken road, the end of any chance we had at being whole, at being a home. Happiness on our own never seemed like an option; we had the right cards but even still we could do nothing but lament our fate and watch as they all … Continue reading My heart doesn’t want to recognize that you’re gone, so I’ve learned to live without either of you.
You stole from me soft kisses my lips cannot erase, Even as the winter leaves them cracked and withered And dry as my throat that still feels freshly ripped in two From the screams that will never cease to come... You stole from me that safety, that feeling I held so dear, To be able … Continue reading What you stole from me.
You'll find me in Belgium, On the coast of the North Sea. I'll be swaying on the current, The salty spray of the tide Running me towards the Strait of Dover. It bears my essence as it crashes, A crushing cerulean weight To turn rock into sand, And sailors dreams into restless sleep.
I had relationships before you, told other people “I love you”, and I don’t think I was lying to them, at least until I heard you whisper those words into my ear.
The first time I saw you, it was the middle of December, Ohio. It had been snowing a lot that Winter, more than the last 2 or 3 for sure. I’m basing my assumption on the size of the snow piles created in the parking lots of Target, Walmart, etc etc. These mini mountains are … Continue reading “I wish it would never stop snowing.”
Time slips through my outstretched hand, and I try to grasp at its tail, but those lines are just wisps of smoke, and they roll over my fingers, kissing my knuckles, tickling the scars on my wrists, spiraling up and around my neck, filling my ears with the sound of my own beating heart as … Continue reading The only comfort I can give myself is the reassurance that a monster like me is better off alone
I don't know how to forgive myself, and I've been so down on myself for so many years, I accepted that I probably won't ever be able to forgive myself. Some days I can face this realization without any fuss, but in my weaker moments my mind wanders, and I end up dreaming of stupids … Continue reading Do I deserve to be happy?