It begins where we failed; the end of a broken road, the end of any chance we had at being whole, at being a home. Happiness on our own never seemed like an option; we had the right cards but even still we could do nothing but lament our fate and watch as they all … Continue reading My heart doesn’t want to recognize that you’re gone, so I’ve learned to live without either of you.
The first time I saw you, it was the middle of December, Ohio. It had been snowing a lot that Winter, more than the last 2 or 3 for sure. I’m basing my assumption on the size of the snow piles created in the parking lots of Target, Walmart, etc etc. These mini mountains are … Continue reading “I wish it would never stop snowing.”
I understand that what I’m doing isn’t exactly “healthy,” okay? I can comprehend that the momentary sense of euphoria is the result of a release of endorphins in response to the pain. I could get the same effect from something like running, or fucking. Yet here I am, all alone, exhausted from doing fuck all … Continue reading “Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”
I’ve felt the weight of broken men against my chest. I’ve watched as they cried until they had nothing left, collapsing into my arms and letting me guide them into a rocky slumber. I’ve steadied the shaking hands of terrified children. They were small, but the fear in their eyes was big, and it threatened … Continue reading “Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Most will fight to selflessly serve others, but there are also heroes who only help others because they think that will somehow save themselves.”
But it’s not enough to say you just held on, because it was more. It was everything. You never loosened your grip. Even though I stopped trying and resigned myself to this bottomless pit that was my life, you didn’t falter. I don’t know how many times I fell down, but each time felt like … Continue reading “You held my hand, and through all of my ups and downs, you never let me go.”
Seeded into my nights, Your essence claims me; Hidden in my shadow, Your fists find purchase On peach shaded skin. When you feel yourself Losing your grip, Fingers morph into claws, Piercing my exposed flesh Until my moonlite profile Is brushed in heavy strokes Of ferric crimson.
I built you a home in my chest by clearing out everything that was useless. My skin was paper, so I cut it away into tiny shapes of cranes, and you smiled as my flightless birds floated on top of the bathwater. You watched them only long enough to see as they made their way … Continue reading “Doing nothing is something; it means accepting that falling apart is as normal for us as breathing.”
My body aches for Spring winds, Their tips curled with cotton embers, Holding just enough of a spark To thaw the azure April sky. I love watching that air jitter, The crystals of swirling snow Pacified into sleepy puffs Of sailing Dandelion clocks. My once bloated, spiked steps That would crunch and crack And crumble … Continue reading “My heart feels like it’s swallowed up in Autumn, even as the first storm of spring is right outside my window.”
I speak through my actions, louder than my words, Yet my words seem to scream off this page in a way my body never could. I write down the truth I’m either too afraid to verbalize or... No, that’s just it: a fear pays me well to hold my tongue, Demons, both real and living … Continue reading The silence carries with it weight; oxygen now exists in my lungs as heavy air, my throat unable to swallow such a solid mass, unwilling to give passage to that last breath, as I wasted it on words you never heard.
We used to talk every night; you never let me fall asleep. A certain wonder enticing my eyes to refrain from closing in your company. I would instead stray as the rolling thunder, masquerade as your thin visage reflected. I wore you, yet what is it that you colored me? When we started this … Continue reading I left my life of black and white to feel the brightest red. But time cools hearts, leaving it in parts, and I’m left with this blue instead.