I find my mind wandering in squares. I would say circles, but my moods are to extreme. Going in a circle is a gradual climb up up up, followed by a slow and steady curve down down down. I hit the top, ride the good ride and enjoy being in the clouds, living a dream. My fall is sudden, drastic, epic. I am left in the filth of my own ignorance and I remain there, no more ups, simply living in a hell of my creation.
My heart is not as strong as I think it’s supposed to be. I am constantly living with the fear that I am unloved, even though I am surrounded by love. I feel like I must be born on the wrong planet, breathing the wrong air, because I constantly feel as if I am waiting on someone to hold my heart and steady its beats until I feel…okay.