Tag: stupid

She wakes up every morning to the same sights and the same pain. It’s those images, the black-out curtains, lack of a working ceiling light, and the hideous antique lampshade, working in tandem, that break her heart a little more every day..

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Lying next to nothing but extra pillows and a bedside table, you realize how truly expansive a queen sized bed can be. Reaching as far as the former planet Pluto, it is just as cold when you are lying in that galaxy of a bed alone. It stretches so far that when you look out … Continue reading She wakes up every morning to the same sights and the same pain. It’s those images, the black-out curtains, lack of a working ceiling light, and the hideous antique lampshade, working in tandem, that break her heart a little more every day..

My feelings are still a mess of regrets and promises I made to myself on my lowest days…but they are the only promises I have left.

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“It was through your eyes that I was able to find out what this world really is. It was so big..to big for you...to cruel and cunning, to quick and papery, to soiled and full of sell outs...it was all to much of everything, but it was the same for me. It was the same … Continue reading My feelings are still a mess of regrets and promises I made to myself on my lowest days…but they are the only promises I have left.

I know what fear tastes like, how it sinks into your soul and creates…dark, so much darkness that everything is a shadow or unlit alley, and I can’t even run because I have no idea if I’m running away from the danger or getting closer to it.

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Red wine is what comes to mind When I think of how you poison me. It’s slow, delicate and good in small doses But I’m overwhelmed and drowning in your sea.   You are bitter to some, smooth to others It just depends on who you ask To me, you are nothing more than an … Continue reading I know what fear tastes like, how it sinks into your soul and creates…dark, so much darkness that everything is a shadow or unlit alley, and I can’t even run because I have no idea if I’m running away from the danger or getting closer to it.

I think most people know this about me already, but I’m really, REALLY not good at this whole “living” thing.

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It wasn’t an active process, just background noise, the gears turning and keeping me moving forward. One step, 2 steps, a stumble over a crack in this ancient cement driveway, a crack I’ve known since I was 5 years old, a crack I’ve avoided a 1000 times during games of tag, basketball, hopscotch. A crack … Continue reading I think most people know this about me already, but I’m really, REALLY not good at this whole “living” thing.

It’s embarrassing to have to turn down every potential swimming adventure because you don’t want to ruin the fun when they see all those scars, those mistakes you obviously haven’t learned a damn thing from..

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I’ve buried myself in the Baltic, burned into my skin this rough salt water. My shipyards left barren, the lighthouse now a beacon for shadows and shame. No bravery lives here. My dreams were left behind, so nothing but my terror remains, feeding off the eerie winds that sound during all seasons. These waves carry … Continue reading It’s embarrassing to have to turn down every potential swimming adventure because you don’t want to ruin the fun when they see all those scars, those mistakes you obviously haven’t learned a damn thing from..

It’s not that I dislike silence, but sometimes I wish I still had the strength left to scream.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

Sound is so light, breathing like a morning cast in fog Hold your breath now and wait for the fall All along the sweet castaway, sweet darling of mine Watched ever so quiet in the back of my mind   Sound is so soft, breathing like a mouse in the walls Hold your breath now … Continue reading It’s not that I dislike silence, but sometimes I wish I still had the strength left to scream.

Every scar has a story, especially the ones that keep finding new friends.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

It feels like I am leaving my body behind for something much, much smaller. I'm not a shell waiting to be cracked, but nevertheless. I have to bust open. I have to break out. Well, more like break down. Tear down. Rip down. I have to rip it down, every last trace of the creature … Continue reading Every scar has a story, especially the ones that keep finding new friends.

The rain against her window echoed through this hollow room with every drop, loud enough and long enough to drive away rational thought. If he was ever going to do it, tonight would be the night to tell you, my darling, sweet dreams.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

Slightly, as if by pure coincidence, This door on her right creaks open Filtering stale light, pale dust, From a lifetime set in mellow tones; Dimming lamp shades that still reflect Mistakes she wears upon her sleeve. Her selfish thought today? “I wish these scars would just fade away...”   Is freedom being able to … Continue reading The rain against her window echoed through this hollow room with every drop, loud enough and long enough to drive away rational thought. If he was ever going to do it, tonight would be the night to tell you, my darling, sweet dreams.

Every day I feel it, and it hurts, but never enough…I never feel like I’m hurting enough.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

Do you want to know what it feels like? To be sitting in a waiting room of a planned parenthood, knowing that only a door away lies your girlfriend who is begging for the pain meds to numb her emotions as thoroughly as they have her body? For starters it makes you feel useless. You … Continue reading Every day I feel it, and it hurts, but never enough…I never feel like I’m hurting enough.