It feels like I am leaving my body behind for something much, much smaller. I'm not a shell waiting to be cracked, but nevertheless. I have to bust open. I have to break out. Well, more like break down. Tear down. Rip down. I have to rip it down, every last trace of the creature … Continue reading Every scar has a story, especially the ones that keep finding new friends.
Is the light from my window beginning to reach my eyes? No, that’s the artificial light from the lamp beside my bed. Should that make such a difference in how I start my day? I would like to be greeted by something a little more comforting than this light that is a lie. It shouldn’t … Continue reading The long weekend has finally come, 4 straight days with no work, and I couldn’t be any more of a piece of shit than I am right now.
I listened to their words and let them slowly poison me. Their mouths drip with the sweet allure of brilliant gold used to hide beneath it a torrent of unmitigated disaster. They take from your flesh, tearing away your Auburn days and leaving behind those cyanide times. Silly child, begging to be unraveled but not … Continue reading I wasn’t afraid to fall, so my head never left the clouds, and you never gave me a proper warning, and my wings melted away, and I believed you when you said you’d carry me, and I kept on smiling, even as my body hit the ground.
https://youtu.be/WvJ8quslqkU Let's go back. Way, way, wayyyyy back, all the way to 2008. I couldn't legally buy cigarettes, gas was less then $2 a gallon, and waking up before 6AM was a thing I could do on a daily basis. Enter my first part-time job, creating a small surplus of funds which I promptly spent … Continue reading Music Mondays: Julia Nunes
She is not a star, some solar entity floating in space, whose light takes lifetimes to reach those around her. She is home, in that comfortable sense of belonging to something that means everything. She is the familiar creak of decade old stairs in the way her smile crinkles around the edges of her mouth, … Continue reading The twinkle in her eyes isn’t from stardust or diamonds or pearls; Her eyes shine from her own wonder, her curious nature for everything around her.
Take nothing for granted and keep your eyes focused on the future, so things like student loan debt and a terrible job market won’t swallow you whole. The thing is I don’t have it that bad. I have a pretty stable job, with plenty of potential for growth (which means more money). I am paying … Continue reading I tick away the time, peeling back the skin on my fingers, bleeding all over the pages of this brand new journal. I have a mechanical pencil with an abundance of .07 lead, but I still chose to write my story in red?
Why would things have to turn out like this, huh? Can anyone give me an answer that would calm me down, turn my radical sense of self-loathing into a more calm, rational sense of mild self-hatred? I am aware; I am a creature of habit. I fall into the holes of life not because of … Continue reading Looking at the past, you want to take a broad brush to cover the whole damn sight; smear it that turncoat black, that obsidian shadow, that unholy, ungrateful, unashamed shade of a world without a sun. That past… what a waste of conscience that failed my heart when it was breaking in two.
I realize, of course, what these decisions I have made over the past few years have lead me towards; a slothful life full of wasted moments that have somehow become wasted years, turning this mind into mush and these years into a wasted life, a wasted potential, a waste of a waste, truly God’s ideal … Continue reading The excuses are all gone, replaced with a very real, grounded reason to reach the bottom of this bottle. I’m halfway in, but I tend to only do things half-assed, so let’s see if I can break that habit tonight.
I want to say that you are my only family, but instead I find myself telling you about the first time I ever rode my bike without training wheels on it, how amazing it felt to manage the feat a year faster than my older brother, only to look back years later and realize I … Continue reading Everything is possible with enough patience, yet I find time has whittled mine to a fine, fragile point; try to hard and I’m sure to shatter, but remain as I am and I’ll have nothing left but a speck.
My body lies still in sleep, unlike my insecure soul. My dreams carry weight; they are the leaves after the autumn downpour, so common nobody stops to stare, but to each tree it feels like a lead weight just shifted onto the branches, making each leaf cry out in turn: “It’s now the time for … Continue reading It’s not so simple, black and white and shades of gray. We exist as light, and can be bent to reflect the colors of the heavens themselves, at least in the right persons eyes.
That little light from your lampshade 