My heart remains silent, fearful of the shadows I’ve swallowed in my attempts to quell my hollow soul. With every beat, that darkness is pulled closer, and I’m left hoping this bottle of pills will be enough to keep the demons at bay, or else I’ll need to wash them all away in a rush … Continue reading I’ll chalk this latest mistake up to another bad decision made in poor lighting. I’m just happy it happened in Winter, so I have a ready-made excuse to always be wearing long sleeved shirts.
You’ve spent so much time breaking your own heart, you’ve forgotten what it means to be whole. You think you are only half filled, half complete, but you weren’t born that way, and you’ve lost nothing over the years that you can’t grow back all on your own. You are still bright, my firefly. You … Continue reading “In a world that’s constantly trying to tear you down, there’s always meaning in standing back up.”
The first time I saw you, it was the middle of December, Ohio. It had been snowing a lot that Winter, more than the last 2 or 3 for sure. I’m basing my assumption on the size of the snow piles created in the parking lots of Target, Walmart, etc etc. These mini mountains are … Continue reading “I wish it would never stop snowing.”
Time slips through my outstretched hand, and I try to grasp at its tail, but those lines are just wisps of smoke, and they roll over my fingers, kissing my knuckles, tickling the scars on my wrists, spiraling up and around my neck, filling my ears with the sound of my own beating heart as … Continue reading The only comfort I can give myself is the reassurance that a monster like me is better off alone
I don't know how to forgive myself, and I've been so down on myself for so many years, I accepted that I probably won't ever be able to forgive myself. Some days I can face this realization without any fuss, but in my weaker moments my mind wanders, and I end up dreaming of stupids … Continue reading Do I deserve to be happy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_33gAQA_lbY So, my idea to make a "Music Monday" post every Monday for 2018 has been a complete failure, but that's all going to change in 2019. Or not. I can't tell the future. All I can tell you is that The Sonder Bombs make me happy, and they released an album, and that album … Continue reading Music Mondays: The Sonder Bombs!!! (Again!!!)
But somewhere, in all that anger, is the pale heart of somebody who wants to be loved.
When my light begins to fade, And I cannot tell the difference Between the edge of our Sea And that rocky ledge Where old things go When they are called home. In that half-light, Where time splits open And everything that once could fly Embraces the finality Of a perpetual slumber, Know that when everything … Continue reading “You aren’t here anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m alone. Even though it’s hard, I’m able to keep going with a smile, because of you… Thank you.”
You were everything I never knew could exist in a soul. You were a soft sunset, yet you never lost any of your radiance. You made the end of every day something to look forward to. I had no idea a person could actually look forward to tomorrow without even a hint of fear. You … Continue reading “I’m not surprised by many things anymore, which would explain why you managed to shake me to my core.”
No matter how deep I go, I can’t cut it out. I was fighting against the red, but as it slowly faded into black, I caught a glimpse of the truth. I’ve spent so many years living on a razors edge that I stopped fearing sharp objects altogether. No, maybe I was never afraid in … Continue reading “God made me tenderly, with love in every stitch, and how did I repay that care? I forced God to watch me as I ripped open every last seam.”