I don't know how to forgive myself, and I've been so down on myself for so many years, I accepted that I probably won't ever be able to forgive myself. Some days I can face this realization without any fuss, but in my weaker moments my mind wanders, and I end up dreaming of stupids … Continue reading Do I deserve to be happy?
"You are a sunburn; you came with happy times spent in sunny days, and you left me with the coming of autumn and the bright orange leaves."
There is no happiness in the world, just a series of paths that grow progressively darker as more time passes. In the end, it culminates into something so black, you can’t see anything moving forward, and you can’t see anything when you look back, so your left choking on empty memories, and in that dark … Continue reading “My chemical makeup makes it impossible to forget you, but I’m hoping that with time I’ll remember the me that existed without you..”
I seek neither the secrets Of the shaded sky, Nor the calming whisper Of a trillion stars; I am fixated solely on your luster.
I wanted us to be happy, but I also had an unhealthy definition of happiness. I thought of everything we were, and made it into everything you were. I did things that might make you smile, wrote poems that would light up your eyes. I was content to make your happiness my happiness. But that … Continue reading “I’ve tried leaving my heart free to wander, but everytime…every single time…it always comes back…to you.”
I want fortune to listen As I struggle with my speech, To flinch as the words reveal Scar after scar. My words resonate regret, And as all moisture Evaporates in my throat, Every note is coated In varying shades Of a screeching rust.
I spent my summer melting, My autumn fearing another fall. The new year was a blanket Of snow and cumbersome guilt. A spring sun demanded I begin, But all of my roots were dead, My branches devoid of green. So I wasted the Suns generosity; I still received it's light, But without … Continue reading “I spent the summer wishing for a storm to wash away our spring, but never stopped to think about what comes after the rain.”
We arrived at the theater right as the previews were starting. I was happy, because I love trailers and having something to look forward to. You always made it a point to gauge my reactions to every trailer, but regardless of my level of excitement you would enthusiastically proclaim that we’d go see that movie, … Continue reading I don’t know how it works for the rest of the world, but I fall in love in more ways than I can count.
“You say that it hurts to be alone, but you are the one pushing aside your phone when it lights up, ignoring every invite from friends and family to go out or come over. You aren’t making an effort, so can you really say that being alone hurts?” ~It’s not being alone that hurts. I … Continue reading I promised you shelter, but I just realized my heart is full of holes. So maybe I was just using you to plug them up, to make me feel whole…
But I love him...That was always my excuse at the end of every day that summer. Those nights spent awake wishing to be anything but real, the face of a harsh reality was revealed, and every special moment broken. You felt special because he was yours? People are not possessions. When you do that, you … Continue reading It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..