Tag: winter

The majority of my hope lies with other people, but I am learning to save a least a sliver for myself.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

I haven’t lived this life only to borrow other people’s things; their smiles and handshakes and promises. I’m building myself back up, or maybe up for the first time, or maybe I’m not building anything and I’m just determined not to fall any further. A lack of visible progress is discouraging, but footprints made on … Continue reading The majority of my hope lies with other people, but I am learning to save a least a sliver for myself.

My feelings are still a mess of regrets and promises I made to myself on my lowest days…but they are the only promises I have left.

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“It was through your eyes that I was able to find out what this world really is. It was so big..to big for you...to cruel and cunning, to quick and papery, to soiled and full of sell outs...it was all to much of everything, but it was the same for me. It was the same … Continue reading My feelings are still a mess of regrets and promises I made to myself on my lowest days…but they are the only promises I have left.

I think most people know this about me already, but I’m really, REALLY not good at this whole “living” thing.

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It wasn’t an active process, just background noise, the gears turning and keeping me moving forward. One step, 2 steps, a stumble over a crack in this ancient cement driveway, a crack I’ve known since I was 5 years old, a crack I’ve avoided a 1000 times during games of tag, basketball, hopscotch. A crack … Continue reading I think most people know this about me already, but I’m really, REALLY not good at this whole “living” thing.

I only wanted to call to say that I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what I’m supposed to be sorry for, and so I found myself saying goodbye before we ever had the chance to talk.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

Have you ever found yourself leaning back in a chair so far that you fear you might just fall backwards and hit your head? Why lean so far back? Why keep pushing and pushing until you reach that ultimate tipping point, where gravity takes hold of you and forces you to accept physics as a … Continue reading I only wanted to call to say that I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what I’m supposed to be sorry for, and so I found myself saying goodbye before we ever had the chance to talk.

I left my life of black and white to feel the brightest red. But time cools hearts, leaving it in parts, and I’m left with this blue instead.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 7 Comments

We used to talk every night; you never let me fall asleep. A certain wonder enticing my eyes to refrain from closing in your company. I would instead stray as the rolling thunder, masquerade as your thin visage reflected. I wore you, yet what is it that you colored me?   When we started this … Continue reading I left my life of black and white to feel the brightest red. But time cools hearts, leaving it in parts, and I’m left with this blue instead.

Ohio has a way of beating a person down, with winds that only roar during those times when I need the world to hear me scream.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

I no longer get cold in the winter. That is to say I no longer care if I get cold. Of course I am affected by the wind as it hurts my face; I am blinded by the snow that covers my hair and shoulders, tripped by the ice under my feet, covering the streets, … Continue reading Ohio has a way of beating a person down, with winds that only roar during those times when I need the world to hear me scream.

Drink up the sky and breathe in this soil, this fertile patch of love the world has set aside just for us.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 6 Comments

Help me find my way back into this heart, back into myself and the soul I've forgotten. I buried them both under years of tears, scars and screams at my blinking check engine light. I haven't lost every part of me though. I'm still able to find a laugh, squint up at a winter sun … Continue reading Drink up the sky and breathe in this soil, this fertile patch of love the world has set aside just for us.

She flickers through my head, the loudest voice in my ears, promising this choice is the only choice left to me.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

Two a.m. on this desolate street corner. A blinking yellow street light above the wet corners of the road, suspended their like some kind of evening sun. The power lines still covered in powdered snow, slowly falling onto gravel and dirt under a pale wind. Every star that can be seen within a city can … Continue reading She flickers through my head, the loudest voice in my ears, promising this choice is the only choice left to me.

It’s dark before 6, and these blinds block all light from the streetlights below, but I’m still holding onto the edge, buoyed by this tiny light slipping out from my lampshade.

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Slip past the guards, the listless bodies thrown haphazardly across any surface this apartment can provide. Open the gates, mindful of the squeaking hinges, remaining a shadow until the door is in the past. Do not linger, for that is how regrets are formed, and you have no strength left to fight another losing battle. … Continue reading It’s dark before 6, and these blinds block all light from the streetlights below, but I’m still holding onto the edge, buoyed by this tiny light slipping out from my lampshade.

I’ve grown accustomed to my own lack of patience, pushing aside the reality of my short temper by hiding behind a mountain of excuses, like my insufficient sleep schedule or my diet of razor blades and a nightly bottle of pills. But let’s break that down to it’s pieces, shall we?

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 3 Comments

My sleep isn’t so much a lack thereof, but a world of nightmares that makes nothing feel like real rest. Every wall is a mirror, and my whole body is covered in bright red scars, and everyone I’ve ever known is watching me and walking by and offering help, offering hands and tissue paper and … Continue reading I’ve grown accustomed to my own lack of patience, pushing aside the reality of my short temper by hiding behind a mountain of excuses, like my insufficient sleep schedule or my diet of razor blades and a nightly bottle of pills. But let’s break that down to it’s pieces, shall we?