I have been spending my vacation reading through posts on Wordpress, and I just want to say thank you to every author on this site. You are all amazing.

Maybe you’re right, maybe I’ll never amount to anything. I might spend my entire life writing these poems and essays and novels and never get a single one published. It’s likely that the only people who will ever read my words are people who follow my tiny blog. I’ll never get paid for writing, and I’ll never get famous. My parents may never respect my dream of being an author, and my friends may ridicule me for wasting my weekends storyboarding the next chapter of the book I’ll never, ever finish instead of spending some time in the Sun. I might even look back and regret ever starting down this path of winding words, but that doesn’t matter. I want to be a writer. I want to put my soul into something, because I’ve been inspired by those who have written before me. Every book, every poem or screenplay or short story I have ever read lives inside of me. I can feel the passion coming from every sentence, and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world, to read the soul of another person. I want to give my fair share to the world, and not because I feel I owe this world anything. I want to give myself away on these pages because it’s what I want to do; I just want to pour my heart out in the best way that I can, and that means pen to paper, keystrokes to LCD monitor, fancy Eagle feather quill to authentic, hand crafted, medieval scrolls!

I let you tapper my dream of writing until the only thing left was a point so fine it would break the second I tried to put any weight into my words. I let you whittle me away, and that was my mistake. I paid for it…I’m still paying for it, every day, BUT, I also didn’t give you everything. Brittle though it may be, I still have my own pen, so I can write my own story. It might not last very long, but so long as I still have it, I won’t give up. I’m going to keep going, until I can’t go any further. Even if I go nowhere with my writing, I’m still going to write, and I’m going to share it to my blog, and I’m going to fill journal after journal with every story that pops into my head.

So maybe you’re right, but maybe you’re also 100% wrong. I have already amounted to something. It might be a small something in a niche corner of the literary world, but I am something, and nobody can take that away.

Music Mondays: Julia Nunes

Let’s go back. Way, way, wayyyyy back, all the way to 2008. I couldn’t legally buy cigarettes, gas was less then $2 a gallon, and waking up before 6AM was a thing I could do on a daily basis. Enter my first part-time job, creating a small surplus of funds which I promptly spent on my first laptop, thus ridding myself the need of my parents desktop dinosaur. Those were happy times; a period of discovering the wonders (and many, many horrors) of the interwebs.

One of my biggest obsessions of this time period was YouTube. I fell in love with acoustic covers of everything, free piano tutorials so I could trick my friends into thinking I could play piano, and of course the original YouTube artist I claimed as my own. I loved finding these people, with there webcams recording at truly shitty qualities, singing their own music and putting themselves out there for the world to hear (and see). I took pride in having these musicians be my little secret, something I could listen to all day and nobody I interacted with even had a clue of what I was listening too.

My favorite artist of that time, and still one of my favorite artists of all time, is the wonderful Julia Nunes. I found her searching for covers on Ukulele, because I was in a phase, and stuck around after hearing her original tune “First Impressions.” From there my love for her music only skyrocketed. Her songs just felt like they were speaking to me, to us, an entire generation, on a personal level. It had an upbeat, poppy sound at times, but it never felt like she was trying to sell me something, which is how I felt about all music and media at the time. She was something real, and I was really all about it.

Going from webcam recorded solos to EP releases to full blown albums and guest appearances on major TV shows (she performed on Conan before and it was the only time I have ever forced myself to watch late night talk TV live). Her sound evolved and I felt like it evolved with me, in the same way. In this track, “Something Bad”, I feel like everything I love about Julia Nunes is captured perfectly. She’s funny and smiles wide, but makes mistakes and she knows it. Her lyrics can be playful and make it all sound innocent, but I also understand exactly what sucks about wanting something and knowing it’s bad for who we are. I don’t think this is a new revelation or anything, but just hearing it from someone around my age, without a filter, just made me feel like I wasn’t so alone.

Julia Nunes has a few albums out now, and plenty of covers on her YouTube channel, and her Pandora station produces some amazing hits, so check them all out. She’s perfect for a car ride home, a night alone, a party with friends, or a pity party of 1. I guarantee that you will find at least 1 song that speaks to you and will be played on repeat from now until the end of time in your head. Go have a musical adventure, courtesy of Julia Nunes.