“I’m a notorious procrastinator, but even if it takes me till the end on my days, I swear I’ll find a reason to love myself.”

I never stopped writing. I haven’t liked anything I’ve written in the past year, but I kept trying. I have thousands of stray thoughts scattered throughout my harddrive, scribbled onto the blank spaces between the ink of old accounting files that somehow missed their trip to the shredder. I kept trying, and I keep on … Continue reading “I’m a notorious procrastinator, but even if it takes me till the end on my days, I swear I’ll find a reason to love myself.”

“My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.”

All I could do was watch, As if it had nothing to do with me. Useless, bloated body,  Avalanching peaks dipping in my valley’s, Asymmetrical pieces carved from my breast, Burying this heart in another creature's chest. Screams echo empty tragedy In vibrant, blinking reds Breaking across my retina’s, Burning into my memories Another unmitigated … Continue reading “My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.”

“You kissed me first, so of course this is all your fault. You didn’t have to kiss me… You didn’t have to make me fall in love…”

Your lips bewitched me. A glossy coat of distilled resin, Edges tinged by the Sun, And so my heart lingers On a shaking yellow dream,  The same shade  As dandelion wine. Your kiss took root, Sinking into my veins, A poison, like acid rain, And it burns, burns, burns, Until nothing remains Save for the … Continue reading “You kissed me first, so of course this is all your fault. You didn’t have to kiss me… You didn’t have to make me fall in love…”

Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…

Now I remember your face The name you remind me of, so fake This bitter pill, just a bit overkill But theater has its place’s We have come to a fork in the middle of this road Damnit, who put this here? Blocking my way, making it harder to say What I need to Well … Continue reading Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…

“It only took me a few seconds to realize my mistake, but by then the damage had already been done, and I lost more of myself to a stranger..”

I don’t know how you feel about me; You never say what’s on your mind. One day your all smiles and roses And the next you treat me like a waste of time. You loved me in the morning But by Noon, you were nowhere to be found And I’m sure before I go to … Continue reading “It only took me a few seconds to realize my mistake, but by then the damage had already been done, and I lost more of myself to a stranger..”

I want to hurt me, to prove that you were nothing special. I want you to see my scars, so I can scream “See?! I don’t need you to break me! I can do it just fine all alone!”

I’ll hold out for tonight, The same as every night, But I swear this time tomorrow I’ll be better, I’ll be whole. It’s not that I enjoy lying But it’s the only thing I own; My words are still my words, Even if they have no home. So while everything is burning I’ll keep pretending … Continue reading I want to hurt me, to prove that you were nothing special. I want you to see my scars, so I can scream “See?! I don’t need you to break me! I can do it just fine all alone!”

“It feels like I’m thinning out my soul, turning once sturdy cider bark into bargain bin brown paper bags.”

You love me. But your love, It’s the same love As the January Sun; An abbreviated afternoon Punctured with pockets Of cumulonimbus skies. Your kisses breed frostbite, Coating every syllable In a gelid timber. But I found something, Even if you are Just passing through. And it was enough For me to latch onto, Even … Continue reading “It feels like I’m thinning out my soul, turning once sturdy cider bark into bargain bin brown paper bags.”