I never stopped writing. I haven’t liked anything I’ve written in the past year, but I kept trying. I have thousands of stray thoughts scattered throughout my harddrive, scribbled onto the blank spaces between the ink of old accounting files that somehow missed their trip to the shredder. I kept trying, and I keep on … Continue reading “I’m a notorious procrastinator, but even if it takes me till the end on my days, I swear I’ll find a reason to love myself.”
Tag: may
Drawing from the well of experience I’ve gathered over the past 25 years of existence, I can draw one solid conclusion about my life: I’m a coward.
I’m spending my days folding up clouds and lining my pockets with dandelion flowers. Cradled in the allure of these soft, sweet distractions, it takes a moment for my mind to register that I’m shivering underneath a waterlogged sweatshirt. I think I want to walk away, to find some cover from the rain, but the … Continue reading Drawing from the well of experience I’ve gathered over the past 25 years of existence, I can draw one solid conclusion about my life: I’m a coward.
I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.
I’ve spent the past 6 years trying to erase everything. If our lives are homes that grow with time, than what I have been doing is leaving the front door unlocked, every window open, and I couldn’t even wait for the world to rip out anything of value, so I actively participated in the pillaging, … Continue reading I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.
“A night without liquor, mistakes made in poor lighting, and the numbing taste of a strangers lips would do me a world of good. If only I knew how to accept anything good..”
Coiled around every kiss is the taste of a temporary love. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but we’ve all forced ourselves to stomach worse things than this, in the name of desire. Nobody enjoys a burning esophagus, nor the rancid taste of stomach acid that accompanies every exhale. A goodnight kiss has been replaced … Continue reading “A night without liquor, mistakes made in poor lighting, and the numbing taste of a strangers lips would do me a world of good. If only I knew how to accept anything good..”
“Raking away at already red wrists, as if self inflicted scars are the latest fashion trend, I’m racing towards another round of awkward conversations about an imaginary cat, a pair of clumsy feet, and a person who stopped caring a long time ago.”
Someday you’ll come to understand how I feel. You’ll wake up, and before you even get the chance to roll out of bed, an intense self-loathing will be simmering right beneath your skin. You won’t be able to make sense of it, and with every passing second the pressure of being alive will grind your … Continue reading “Raking away at already red wrists, as if self inflicted scars are the latest fashion trend, I’m racing towards another round of awkward conversations about an imaginary cat, a pair of clumsy feet, and a person who stopped caring a long time ago.”
Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…
Now I remember your face The name you remind me of, so fake This bitter pill, just a bit overkill But theater has its place’s We have come to a fork in the middle of this road Damnit, who put this here? Blocking my way, making it harder to say What I need to Well … Continue reading Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…
Years may pass, but the Sun hasn’t changed; It’s the same every May, and so is the pain.
Speak to me, on bended knee! "O sweet dreams, my dreary queen!" Sail away on those ships of yours Past the end, over the floors Of a raging Ocean, with waves as tall As my clouds, the love that won’t fall… ~My words on paper mean nothing at all, for in a moment of rage … Continue reading Years may pass, but the Sun hasn’t changed; It’s the same every May, and so is the pain.
It was a brief moment, when serendipity smiled upon me, but if that was all she could give, I’d rather have gotten nothing at all.. (part 2 of 5)
I want serendipity to smell As my anguish ignites, Its carnivorous flames Feasting on my doubt. The breeze is perfumed With a sinister smog, And even though it hurts, This smoke is the only air; And so I am left choking On the ugly scent Of a burning heart..
If this was nothing more than destiny, that would be great. Then I wouldn’t have to blame it all on me.. (part 1 of 5)
I want destiny to taste The last sliver of air Netted in my lungs. It’s Nitrogen imbued With a wink of vinegar, And a gasp of sour carbon, Made all the more potent By a throat varnished In wood turpentine.
I’ve made more friends with ideas set in ink than warm bodies, and that’s perfectly fine with me.
I just want to read books for a weekend, without worrying about work or the world. I want to take away my sense of responsibility, for myself and every other self within a 10,000 mile radius. I want to spend hours browsing at bookstores, moving my fingers along exposed spines. Between all the paper and … Continue reading I’ve made more friends with ideas set in ink than warm bodies, and that’s perfectly fine with me.