I only wanted to call to say that I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what I’m supposed to be sorry for, and so I found myself saying goodbye before we ever had the chance to talk.

Have you ever found yourself leaning back in a chair so far that you fear you might just fall backwards and hit your head? Why lean so far back? Why keep pushing and pushing until you reach that ultimate tipping point, where gravity takes hold of you and forces you to accept physics as a … Continue reading I only wanted to call to say that I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what I’m supposed to be sorry for, and so I found myself saying goodbye before we ever had the chance to talk.

On good days I tell myself it’s a way to wash it all away and get a clean slate, and on bad days I try not to speak at all, to avoid drowning in my rush for some peace.

I’m beginning to see how it is That the sea, so full to its brim, So overflowing with creatures, The very blossom of life, can feel Blank, like the pallet of stars Our God saw fit to place Where we can never hope to reach. Inside we hold a universe untold, The light, hidden … Continue reading On good days I tell myself it’s a way to wash it all away and get a clean slate, and on bad days I try not to speak at all, to avoid drowning in my rush for some peace.

I no longer get cold in the winter. That is to say I no longer care if I get cold. Of course I am affected by the wind as it hurts my face; I am blinded by the snow that covers my hair and shoulders, tripped by the ice under my feet, covering the streets, … Continue reading Ohio has a way of beating a person down, with winds that only roar during those times when I need the world to hear me scream.

I had a dream last night, and you were in it. I was talking to you, just like we are talking right now. And I said some things. Not important things. Every day, hey how ya doin type things. I said those things, and then you were gone. I said those things without really saying … Continue reading When I was a kid I hated going to bed; it felt like if I was sleeping I was missing out on life. 20 some years later? I’m fighting my way towards never having to wake up again.

It’s crazy, the things you’ll miss about a person. You’d think, being raised in the hyper-sexual culture that is the twenty-tens, the thing people would miss most is the sex. One glance at the top Apps for all smartphones and you’d find all the evidence you’d need to prove that thesis correct. So yes, having … Continue reading I’ve never written anything while sitting in a coffee shop, mainly because I don’t drink coffee, but also due to my inability to keep my composure while putting any of my thoughts to paper.

Two a.m. on this desolate street corner. A blinking yellow street light above the wet corners of the road, suspended their like some kind of evening sun. The power lines still covered in powdered snow, slowly falling onto gravel and dirt under a pale wind. Every star that can be seen within a city can … Continue reading She flickers through my head, the loudest voice in my ears, promising this choice is the only choice left to me.

I listened to their words and let them slowly poison me. Their mouths drip with the sweet allure of brilliant gold used to hide beneath it a torrent of unmitigated disaster. They take from your flesh, tearing away your Auburn days and leaving behind those cyanide times. Silly child, begging to be unraveled but not … Continue reading I wasn’t afraid to fall, so my head never left the clouds, and you never gave me a proper warning, and my wings melted away, and I believed you when you said you’d carry me, and I kept on smiling, even as my body hit the ground.

I left you, ran away from you, rented a Dodge Charger, drove that bitch till the gas ran out, got on a sled with a full 10 Husky sledding team, road those bitches (a more appropriate use of the term here) until running into the Alaskan never-ending summer skyline, and STILL, when I caught my … Continue reading I think of you as still being here, with me. I feel your weight on my shoulder when I lay down alone, the scent of your neck filling my lungs, the cold of your feet chilling mine. I’m not lonely, I’m just alone at the moment, and this moment is bound to pass, eventually.

She kisses with that glowing touch; A muted, thin breach of confidence. A kiss laced with smiles, Wrinkled noses, a million words Expressed in two lips Meeting over an exchange of hearts. The sort of kiss that fills you up, Rushes blood throughout your body; A kiss to replace the rhythm in your chest That … Continue reading I’ve spent the past 4 years surrounded by nothing but noise, yet it’s still her silence that speaks to me the loudest.

We live because no matter how much pain we may feel, we feel so much more. What is joy, happiness, that falling while reading a lover's last note, that warmth from a friends smile after a night spent on failures, that fleeting sense of control that makes you feel at home and holds you back … Continue reading No moment you have lived was ever better off without you. We aren’t accumulations of failures; we are exactly who we are meant to be, pain and all.