I hope for things that have yet to come, and I wish I could go back and change everything. I’m nothing but a mess of what ifs, weighed down by a mountain of could have beens, and underneath it all is nothing but an ugly husk of questionable, molting moralities. Hoping is bullshit. It’s what … Continue reading The difference between a hope and a wish
The Summer flickers into the year with lingering regrets; A medley of melted marshmallows and perfume laced bug sprays. It’s not a storm like the Spring, raging in, forcing growth and change, no. Summer stumbles with no direction, as if lost in all this sunlight, As if the added hours of daytime and sweltering drafts … Continue reading I’ve stretched out my soul to widen my shadow, the only part of me that seems to understand how much of a fool God must be for creating this bullshit.
“People can break into pieces, and every single one of those pieces still has enough of us to feel, enough of us to love, enough of us to break again...We may only have 1 life to live, but in that life, a person can die more than once.” I tried to wash this all away … Continue reading It’s not Hell on Earth, it’s just Hell.
I think it started back when I entered High School, and I would spend entire nights just staring at my arms, wishing there was some sort of magical lotion or bandage that could erase all these obviously self-inflicted cuts. I would be so ashamed, I would write myself an angry letter, boldly declaring I would … Continue reading I expected him to change, because he said he would change, and I am in the habit of believing bad people when they tell me they’ll do something.
I have a lot of things I wish I had said, but even more things I wish I hadn’t. I’m stuck in this strange realm between biting my tongue and using it to flick poison in your general direction. I’m caught in the middle, and I keep settling things with a coin flip, leaving it … Continue reading “I craved a home for my heart, and in my rush to find it, I ignored the tiny pieces I was leaving behind with every step I took.”
I want fortune to listen As I struggle with my speech, To flinch as the words reveal Scar after scar. My words resonate regret, And as all moisture Evaporates in my throat, Every note is coated In varying shades Of a screeching rust.
I want karma to see Every mistake I carved In my attempt To reap forgiveness. Are these lines Repentance for the past Or a reflection of me And the tomorrow I’ll never escape?
I want fate to touch My crowning breath, To blister in its fever As it traces crimson Around naked necks. It’s a vibrant sensation, Echoing the shade of dusk Throughout my bones Until they are reduced To Georgia Red Clay.
I want serendipity to smell As my anguish ignites, Its carnivorous flames Feasting on my doubt. The breeze is perfumed With a sinister smog, And even though it hurts, This smoke is the only air; And so I am left choking On the ugly scent Of a burning heart..
I want destiny to taste The last sliver of air Netted in my lungs. It’s Nitrogen imbued With a wink of vinegar, And a gasp of sour carbon, Made all the more potent By a throat varnished In wood turpentine.
That little light from your lampshade 