The first time I saw you, it was the middle of December, Ohio. It had been snowing a lot that Winter, more than the last 2 or 3 for sure. I’m basing my assumption on the size of the snow piles created in the parking lots of Target, Walmart, etc etc. These mini mountains are … Continue reading “I wish it would never stop snowing.”
Tag: hoping
“Time erases nothing, but diminishes everything.”
How did things end up like this? In the Winter, you were here. But then came Summer And suddenly I can only see you When I close my eyes. Will tomorrow be the same? Will the next day be another day Where I don’t know you, Where I can’t find you at all? I can't … Continue reading “Time erases nothing, but diminishes everything.”
“I can feel the weight of these memories, so large that I can’t carry anything new into my tomorrows. At some point I have to make a choice, but I’m afraid that, even after all these years, I’m still going to choose anybody but me…”
Falling down takes time, and has layers, and can even appear beautiful. It’s sort of like a sunset on the beach in late September. It’s not truly autumn, so every evening is ushered in on the tail-end of a dying summer breeze. The light from the Sun plays games with that not so warm air, … Continue reading “I can feel the weight of these memories, so large that I can’t carry anything new into my tomorrows. At some point I have to make a choice, but I’m afraid that, even after all these years, I’m still going to choose anybody but me…”
Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…
Now I remember your face The name you remind me of, so fake This bitter pill, just a bit overkill But theater has its place’s We have come to a fork in the middle of this road Damnit, who put this here? Blocking my way, making it harder to say What I need to Well … Continue reading Days turned to weeks, and now it’s been months; exactly 96 days I’ve been sober. But that’s left my mind with nothing but time to wonder about you and me…so I’m sober, but I’m suffocating, trying to accept a me without you…
Rainy days are my favorite days, because in the rain I can believe in things like a clean start or second chances.
I waited for you in April, but as the rain came and went, you never revealed yourself to me. I stayed there, and I’m still here, unable to rise up and enjoy the summer sun. And as this autumn fades into blinding snow, you are often the only thing on my mind. I’m still waiting … Continue reading Rainy days are my favorite days, because in the rain I can believe in things like a clean start or second chances.
The rush you once gave me has become a burning friction, and the years spent alone have turned my love into fiction, and nothing I ever do will mean a goddamned thing.”
You know, I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to keep waking up in physical pain, throwing up my future all over my bathroom floor, replacing my bath rugs on a weekly basis. It’s not fun, and it makes me feel nothing. I don’t want to be nothing, but what else is … Continue reading The rush you once gave me has become a burning friction, and the years spent alone have turned my love into fiction, and nothing I ever do will mean a goddamned thing.”
“Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”
I understand that what I’m doing isn’t exactly “healthy,” okay? I can comprehend that the momentary sense of euphoria is the result of a release of endorphins in response to the pain. I could get the same effect from something like running, or fucking. Yet here I am, all alone, exhausted from doing fuck all … Continue reading “Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”
“So although I might like it for one afternoon, I don’t want to live on the Moon…”
I seek neither the secrets Of the shaded sky, Nor the calming whisper Of a trillion stars; I am fixated solely on your luster.
“No matter how much I think I’ve grown, I fall short, because the world has been growing too, and I just can’t keep up…”
It only takes a few seconds, or maybe less. Perhaps it’s just a blink, a flash of the sun through a pinhole in air-dried cotton sheets, or a shooting star racing towards the center of a black hole, erupting at the bend in our universe, where all events lose focus, lose time, lose everything except … Continue reading “No matter how much I think I’ve grown, I fall short, because the world has been growing too, and I just can’t keep up…”
“You accepted my love so easily, but in the end, when it mattered most, I was a burden, so you couldn’t be bothered with me.”
I went from a warm soul to a body consumed by wildfire, and I can’t be sure why I set myself on fire to begin with.