Tag: dying

I’m willing to admit I don’t want to die, but the thought of starting over ties my stomach up in knots.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I’m tired, but that means something different to me now. Before I just felt tired because I was working myself to death, skipping sleep to put in 100 hour work weeks. I didn’t work for the money, I just needed something to keep my mind preoccupied so it wouldn’t wander onto another train of thought … Continue reading I’m willing to admit I don’t want to die, but the thought of starting over ties my stomach up in knots.

I've stopped searching for happiness, because no matter where I look, it always leads me right back to you…

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Forever ended.  Time was supposed to stand still, But that’s not how clocks work;  The seconds turned into blurry months, And you weren’t there for any of them.  I was never foolish enough to think  I was the only person to have ever felt such a heartbreak.  I felt a love so deep that,  Even … Continue reading I've stopped searching for happiness, because no matter where I look, it always leads me right back to you…

It’s never as bad as I think it is, until I realize every bottle in my cabinet is empty, and all I can do is wait and see if I’m going to wake up and find tomorrow, or never wake up again.

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I think my subconscious is trying to force my throat shut so I can’t keep downing these pills like fucking skittles. Haha, jokes on me, I’ve spent my entire life forcing bullshit out of my mouth, so forcing some more shit back down? It’s easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, … Continue reading It’s never as bad as I think it is, until I realize every bottle in my cabinet is empty, and all I can do is wait and see if I’m going to wake up and find tomorrow, or never wake up again.

“I’ve never known where I was going, I just knew I had to keep moving. But even without a destination in mind, I think I always sort of knew this is where I’d end up. In the end, we all reach the end we were destined for.”

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I caught up to you, on the last train of the night. For me, it’s the last train home. But where is this train taking you? I can tell it’s not taking you home, but it’s still the last train, so where is it you want this train to take you?  ~Beyond the tracks, past … Continue reading “I’ve never known where I was going, I just knew I had to keep moving. But even without a destination in mind, I think I always sort of knew this is where I’d end up. In the end, we all reach the end we were destined for.”

I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.

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I’ve spent the past 6 years trying to erase everything. If our lives are homes that grow with time, than what I have been doing is leaving the front door unlocked, every window open, and I couldn’t even wait for the world to rip out anything of value, so I actively participated in the pillaging, … Continue reading I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.

“Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”

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I understand that what I’m doing isn’t exactly “healthy,” okay? I can comprehend that the momentary sense of euphoria is the result of a release of endorphins in response to the pain. I could get the same effect from something like running, or fucking. Yet here I am, all alone, exhausted from doing fuck all … Continue reading “Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”

“Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Most will fight to selflessly serve others, but there are also heroes who only help others because they think that will somehow save themselves.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I’ve felt the weight of broken men against my chest. I’ve watched as they cried until they had nothing left, collapsing into my arms and letting me guide them into a rocky slumber. I’ve steadied the shaking hands of terrified children. They were small, but the fear in their eyes was big, and it threatened … Continue reading “Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Most will fight to selflessly serve others, but there are also heroes who only help others because they think that will somehow save themselves.”

“I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

Sleeping in is a luxury far removed from my reality. My bed still calls to me every morning, giving the utmost effort to hold me down. But this isn’t an act of kinship with my sheets, rather my sheets are hellbent on smothering me into nothingness. I’m laying facedown, surrounded in a sea of tumbling … Continue reading “I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”

I wanted to give you the love I thought you deserved, and everything else…I figured that was the price I had to pay… for thinking I also deserved my love…

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We thought we were floating Amongst the clouds, But when our fingers Began to sink into Their white underbellies, We understood.   The air was smoke, Born from a warmth We mistook as the sun. It was just another fire, Another wasted Spark of romance.   It turns out love Can feel an awful lot … Continue reading I wanted to give you the love I thought you deserved, and everything else…I figured that was the price I had to pay… for thinking I also deserved my love…