Tag: depressed

“I started smoking recently. I hate the taste, but I crave their warmth, and I have to admit…they make 2AM feel a lot less lonely.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

My blood is fighting against me. I can feel it squirm throughout the day, a sharpness that begs for reciprocation. I’m burning up all of my second chances for just a few moments of relief. It’s nothing new, waking up to dried lengths of crimson. It’s nothing new. ~And yet~ I take some solace in … Continue reading “I started smoking recently. I hate the taste, but I crave their warmth, and I have to admit…they make 2AM feel a lot less lonely.”

“I saw you again last night, in my dreams. I knew it was a dream, but still…for the first time in weeks I felt warm…”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

This body is rejecting me, slowly and slowly. My bones of collagen and calcium phosphate Feel the constant friction of running away. My once solid steps now falter, As if I am walking on sand. The only way I can move Is to burn it all into sharp glass. And so I am a fragile … Continue reading “I saw you again last night, in my dreams. I knew it was a dream, but still…for the first time in weeks I felt warm…”

I don’t know how it works for the rest of the world, but I fall in love in more ways than I can count.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

We arrived at the theater right as the previews were starting. I was happy, because I love trailers and having something to look forward to. You always made it a point to gauge my reactions to every trailer, but regardless of my level of excitement you would enthusiastically proclaim that we’d go see that movie, … Continue reading I don’t know how it works for the rest of the world, but I fall in love in more ways than I can count.

From chaos and all its corollary elements, how is it that every breath in the expanse of existence has lead this Universe towards the creation of the exact me?

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

I woke up today thinking it was Wednesday. This was odd, as yesterday was Monday, and I didn’t recall doing any time traveling. Where did my Tuesday go? I checked my phone and it confirmed my internal clock must be broken, because of course it was Tuesday. It was Tuesday, April 24th, 2018, the day … Continue reading From chaos and all its corollary elements, how is it that every breath in the expanse of existence has lead this Universe towards the creation of the exact me?

May 3rd, 2018. It’s been 5 years, and I’ve spent that entire span of time proving you right. I’m alone today, and I really shouldn’t be alone today..

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

“Why do you want to die?” ~I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times, and I’ve come up with a thousand different answers. It depends on the time of day, whether or not I’ve seen the Sun in the past 24 hours. It changes based on how full I am, and whether or not I’ve … Continue reading May 3rd, 2018. It’s been 5 years, and I’ve spent that entire span of time proving you right. I’m alone today, and I really shouldn’t be alone today..

“I let you in, caught myself swallowing your air, your every word stroking the walls of my lungs, giving me a reason to breath.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I’ve spent entire dreams on you. Your soft hands return to me, And I feel safe again. I know it’s not real, Just light from the Moon, A lie that bends my seas. I fight for every moment, Breaking clocks and watches, Turning hands back While leaving others blinking 8’s. But you always catch me, … Continue reading “I let you in, caught myself swallowing your air, your every word stroking the walls of my lungs, giving me a reason to breath.”

I haven’t prayed to God, any God, in years, so don’t mistake my screaming to the sky as blaming God for anything.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

You bare your teeth to the pavement, And a heavy throat rumbles Like jagged thunder. It’s not yet time for the fireflies, So you are left with chewed fingernails, Coffee kisses and limestone skin. The Moon is calling you, Because you are a tide, Slowly spreading your cerulean Towards the edge of creation, Only to … Continue reading I haven’t prayed to God, any God, in years, so don’t mistake my screaming to the sky as blaming God for anything.

“My heart feels like it’s swallowed up in Autumn, even as the first storm of spring is right outside my window.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

My body aches for Spring winds, Their tips curled with cotton embers, Holding just enough of a spark To thaw the azure April sky. I love watching that air jitter, The crystals of swirling snow Pacified into sleepy puffs Of sailing Dandelion clocks. My once bloated, spiked steps That would crunch and crack And crumble … Continue reading “My heart feels like it’s swallowed up in Autumn, even as the first storm of spring is right outside my window.”

I promised you shelter, but I just realized my heart is full of holes. So maybe I was just using you to plug them up, to make me feel whole…

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

“You say that it hurts to be alone, but you are the one pushing aside your phone when it lights up, ignoring every invite from friends and family to go out or come over. You aren’t making an effort, so can you really say that being alone hurts?” ~It’s not being alone that hurts. I … Continue reading I promised you shelter, but I just realized my heart is full of holes. So maybe I was just using you to plug them up, to make me feel whole…

3AM is not the best time to write, but I’m out of pills and things to distract me. I’m letting the sound of my keyboard keep me company while I wait for everything to finally end.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I hate my stupid hair and how I play with it so much, as if I could ever get it to look good, when I’m such an ugly monster. I hate my stupid laugh, because it’s loud and comes at the worst of times because I have … Continue reading 3AM is not the best time to write, but I’m out of pills and things to distract me. I’m letting the sound of my keyboard keep me company while I wait for everything to finally end.