“Why do you want to die?” ~I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times, and I’ve come up with a thousand different answers. It depends on the time of day, whether or not I’ve seen the Sun in the past 24 hours. It changes based on how full I am, and whether or not I’ve … Continue reading May 3rd, 2018. It’s been 5 years, and I’ve spent that entire span of time proving you right. I’m alone today, and I really shouldn’t be alone today..
I want to let you hurt me, so I can pretend it was all my choice.
But that’s the coward's retort, a way to displace blame from you and a way to justify my self hatred. Tell it like it is; we didn’t work. I was needy, clingy, desperate to prove I was worth being loved when I already knew that wasn’t something I needed to prove. You were eager for … Continue reading I want to let you hurt me, so I can pretend it was all my choice.
Every day I feel it, and it hurts, but never enough…I never feel like I’m hurting enough.
Do you want to know what it feels like? To be sitting in a waiting room of a planned parenthood, knowing that only a door away lies your girlfriend who is begging for the pain meds to numb her emotions as thoroughly as they have her body? For starters it makes you feel useless. You … Continue reading Every day I feel it, and it hurts, but never enough…I never feel like I’m hurting enough.