Tag: suicide

I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

I’ve spent the past 6 years trying to erase everything. If our lives are homes that grow with time, than what I have been doing is leaving the front door unlocked, every window open, and I couldn’t even wait for the world to rip out anything of value, so I actively participated in the pillaging, … Continue reading I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.

“Raking away at already red wrists, as if self inflicted scars are the latest fashion trend, I’m racing towards another round of awkward conversations about an imaginary cat, a pair of clumsy feet, and a person who stopped caring a long time ago.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

Someday you’ll come to understand how I feel. You’ll wake up, and before you even get the chance to roll out of bed, an intense self-loathing will be simmering right beneath your skin. You won’t be able to make sense of it, and with every passing second the pressure of being alive will grind your … Continue reading “Raking away at already red wrists, as if self inflicted scars are the latest fashion trend, I’m racing towards another round of awkward conversations about an imaginary cat, a pair of clumsy feet, and a person who stopped caring a long time ago.”

Just because I suffer from depression I don’t get a free pass when it comes to being an asshole know it all. Depression isn’t an excuse.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

I see posts like this all the time, scattered throughout Facebook and Instagram and Pintrest, and everytime I see it I just want to scream. This is some straight up bullshit, and I'm going to explain why. First of all, if somebody is pointing out that you might have a better life than you are … Continue reading Just because I suffer from depression I don’t get a free pass when it comes to being an asshole know it all. Depression isn’t an excuse.

“And it’s all the same, just different games… so maybe I am the one to blame…”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

How else can I describe this without being redundant? My stomach is tied in knots, spilling out through the holes in my humanity, leaving an empty pit at my center of gravity. The room isn’t spinning, but nothing is stationary. It’s all subtle shifts; light reflecting off curved surfaces, my white wallpaper peeled back to … Continue reading “And it’s all the same, just different games… so maybe I am the one to blame…”

“Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

I understand that what I’m doing isn’t exactly “healthy,” okay? I can comprehend that the momentary sense of euphoria is the result of a release of endorphins in response to the pain. I could get the same effect from something like running, or fucking. Yet here I am, all alone, exhausted from doing fuck all … Continue reading “Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”

“With nothing to keep me grounded, all I can do is drift towards the Sun, waiting for gravity, or at least something like that.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

When gravity fails you don’t fall, instead you drift away into the sky as the heat from the sun increases to give you the world worst case of sunburn, and so you are left waiting as you drift, waiting on anything, something, to come save you. Now, replace gravity with love and the same rules … Continue reading “With nothing to keep me grounded, all I can do is drift towards the Sun, waiting for gravity, or at least something like that.”

“Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Most will fight to selflessly serve others, but there are also heroes who only help others because they think that will somehow save themselves.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I’ve felt the weight of broken men against my chest. I’ve watched as they cried until they had nothing left, collapsing into my arms and letting me guide them into a rocky slumber. I’ve steadied the shaking hands of terrified children. They were small, but the fear in their eyes was big, and it threatened … Continue reading “Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Most will fight to selflessly serve others, but there are also heroes who only help others because they think that will somehow save themselves.”

“I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

Sleeping in is a luxury far removed from my reality. My bed still calls to me every morning, giving the utmost effort to hold me down. But this isn’t an act of kinship with my sheets, rather my sheets are hellbent on smothering me into nothingness. I’m laying facedown, surrounded in a sea of tumbling … Continue reading “I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”

“Tomorrow is where I placed all of my hopes, but I should have saved something, anything, to get me through today…”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 3 Comments

It's never as bad as I think it is, until I take another look in the mirror. My stomach transforms into a pretzel as the realization "I can always get worse" really begins to sink in. The old scars are so faint now that if I avoid bright lights nobody could even see them. I … Continue reading “Tomorrow is where I placed all of my hopes, but I should have saved something, anything, to get me through today…”

“God made me tenderly, with love in every stitch, and how did I repay that care? I forced God to watch me as I ripped open every last seam.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ Leave a comment

No matter how deep I go, I can’t cut it out. I was fighting against the red, but as it slowly faded into black, I caught a glimpse of the truth. I’ve spent so many years living on a razors edge that I stopped fearing sharp objects altogether. No, maybe I was never afraid in … Continue reading “God made me tenderly, with love in every stitch, and how did I repay that care? I forced God to watch me as I ripped open every last seam.”