Tag: stupid

From chaos and all its corollary elements, how is it that every breath in the expanse of existence has lead this Universe towards the creation of the exact me?

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I woke up today thinking it was Wednesday. This was odd, as yesterday was Monday, and I didn’t recall doing any time traveling. Where did my Tuesday go? I checked my phone and it confirmed my internal clock must be broken, because of course it was Tuesday. It was Tuesday, April 24th, 2018, the day … Continue reading From chaos and all its corollary elements, how is it that every breath in the expanse of existence has lead this Universe towards the creation of the exact me?

May 3rd, 2018. It’s been 5 years, and I’ve spent that entire span of time proving you right. I’m alone today, and I really shouldn’t be alone today..

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

“Why do you want to die?” ~I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times, and I’ve come up with a thousand different answers. It depends on the time of day, whether or not I’ve seen the Sun in the past 24 hours. It changes based on how full I am, and whether or not I’ve … Continue reading May 3rd, 2018. It’s been 5 years, and I’ve spent that entire span of time proving you right. I’m alone today, and I really shouldn’t be alone today..

I’m only wearing these emotions. It’s all painted on passion, washed away during any rainy day.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

It eats away at you from the outside in, or the inside out, or whatever fucking way makes sense to you. Honestly, it doesn’t mean a fucking thing, how this world breaks us. In the end, it doesn’t matter how a soul is ripped apart, because nobody has time to spare grief for another person's … Continue reading I’m only wearing these emotions. It’s all painted on passion, washed away during any rainy day.

I haven’t prayed to God, any God, in years, so don’t mistake my screaming to the sky as blaming God for anything.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

You bare your teeth to the pavement, And a heavy throat rumbles Like jagged thunder. It’s not yet time for the fireflies, So you are left with chewed fingernails, Coffee kisses and limestone skin. The Moon is calling you, Because you are a tide, Slowly spreading your cerulean Towards the edge of creation, Only to … Continue reading I haven’t prayed to God, any God, in years, so don’t mistake my screaming to the sky as blaming God for anything.

“This may sound obvious to some, but you don’t have to say that you’re okay when you aren’t okay.”

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Breathing in these embers, my esophagus melts like candle wax, and these things I need to get off my chest remain buried in my lungs. They fight for a release, so they worm their way through my veins. I can feel them crawling, a sick itch beneath my skin, sending my sense of touch into … Continue reading “This may sound obvious to some, but you don’t have to say that you’re okay when you aren’t okay.”

3AM is not the best time to write, but I’m out of pills and things to distract me. I’m letting the sound of my keyboard keep me company while I wait for everything to finally end.

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 2 Comments

I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I hate my stupid hair and how I play with it so much, as if I could ever get it to look good, when I’m such an ugly monster. I hate my stupid laugh, because it’s loud and comes at the worst of times because I have … Continue reading 3AM is not the best time to write, but I’m out of pills and things to distract me. I’m letting the sound of my keyboard keep me company while I wait for everything to finally end.

“I gave you a world of words, not leaving myself a single letter. So now I am speechless, and you’re just drowning in alphabet soup.”

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 1 Comment

I wanted to take my time with each word I wrote for you. I wanted to be as deliberate as possible, so everything had to have the perfect amount of weight. When you would read my letter you’d be able to hear my voice, like I was lying right there beside you, You’d have no … Continue reading “I gave you a world of words, not leaving myself a single letter. So now I am speechless, and you’re just drowning in alphabet soup.”

It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..

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But I love him...That was always my excuse at the end of every day that summer. Those nights spent awake wishing to be anything but real, the face of a harsh reality was revealed, and every special moment broken. You felt special because he was yours? People are not possessions. When you do that, you … Continue reading It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..

My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.

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Now, right now, I cannot focus my eyes. They water in the bright light, damaged by any image aside from the pitch black. My feet are cold under my white and gray socks. I am shaking. I feel sick. I want to run, far away, but find myself captured in a million different social situations. Talking; I … Continue reading My body is ash, saturated gray, invisible on cloudy days, and blown apart with a single puff of wind.

It’s the same dream every night. No matter what I try, my mind can only slip back into one train of thought, down the only path I can’t follow…

~ taylorfinn0810 ~ 3 Comments

It’s so warm here, lying next to her. We are only holding hands, but that is enough to feel her everything. When we are this close I just want her to talk, talk about anything under the Sun and beyond. She’s close enough that the words come out in a whisper, and I feel like … Continue reading It’s the same dream every night. No matter what I try, my mind can only slip back into one train of thought, down the only path I can’t follow…