Depression sinks into your very soul, and you stop knowing how to love yourself; the thought just isn’t fucking there, and to even hear it, write it, be surrounded by the constant reminders of "Love yourself" does nothing when you feel as if you need that self love to EARN the love of others. People … Continue reading World Mental Health Awareness Day: What Depression feels like (for me).
How did things end up like this? In the Winter, you were here. But then came Summer And suddenly I can only see you When I close my eyes. Will tomorrow be the same? Will the next day be another day Where I don’t know you, Where I can’t find you at all? I can't … Continue reading “Time erases nothing, but diminishes everything.”
Falling down takes time, and has layers, and can even appear beautiful. It’s sort of like a sunset on the beach in late September. It’s not truly autumn, so every evening is ushered in on the tail-end of a dying summer breeze. The light from the Sun plays games with that not so warm air, … Continue reading “I can feel the weight of these memories, so large that I can’t carry anything new into my tomorrows. At some point I have to make a choice, but I’m afraid that, even after all these years, I’m still going to choose anybody but me…”
"You are a sunburn; you came with happy times spent in sunny days, and you left me with the coming of autumn and the bright orange leaves."
Your lips bewitched me. A glossy coat of distilled resin, Edges tinged by the Sun, And so my heart lingers On a shaking yellow dream, The same shade As dandelion wine. Your kiss took root, Sinking into my veins, A poison, like acid rain, And it burns, burns, burns, Until nothing remains Save for the … Continue reading “You kissed me first, so of course this is all your fault. You didn’t have to kiss me… You didn’t have to make me fall in love…”
Another day, another bottle’s contents swirling in my stomach, melting away the anxiety and replacing it with a physical sensation akin to choking. Or perhaps my throat is actually swollen shut? My lungs might be filling up with cheap liquor and cigarette smoke, leaving no room for something as silly as a chemical reaction turning … Continue reading And I know I’d waste my last words on something stupid, like “I’m sorry,” or “I never stopped loving you.”
There is no happiness in the world, just a series of paths that grow progressively darker as more time passes. In the end, it culminates into something so black, you can’t see anything moving forward, and you can’t see anything when you look back, so your left choking on empty memories, and in that dark … Continue reading “My chemical makeup makes it impossible to forget you, but I’m hoping that with time I’ll remember the me that existed without you..”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKG2IWsvISQ At this point I've watched Miya Folick perform this song a hundred different times, and every single time I'm still blown away. The feelings she invokes with her voice, the way she writes sharp, intimate songs with soft words, and the way she lets the music take over with every performance, I've found that … Continue reading Miya Folick is everything I love about music.
I’ve spent the past 6 years trying to erase everything. If our lives are homes that grow with time, than what I have been doing is leaving the front door unlocked, every window open, and I couldn’t even wait for the world to rip out anything of value, so I actively participated in the pillaging, … Continue reading I don’t know where I’m coming from, and I don’t care where I’m heading. I wish I had the strength to just…stop.
Coiled around every kiss is the taste of a temporary love. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but we’ve all forced ourselves to stomach worse things than this, in the name of desire. Nobody enjoys a burning esophagus, nor the rancid taste of stomach acid that accompanies every exhale. A goodnight kiss has been replaced … Continue reading “A night without liquor, mistakes made in poor lighting, and the numbing taste of a strangers lips would do me a world of good. If only I knew how to accept anything good..”
That little light from your lampshade 