Some people bruise really easily. My Mom is like that; she once just slipped walking up the stairs and her entire forearm was a mess of purple and red. I remember because I was about 9, and seeing that freaked me out. I was crying and screaming and running the the phone, ready to dial … Continue reading He took the time between typing shaky lines to peak outside that office window, and wouldn’t you know, it was just wind and snow, but that white somehow felt like a clean slate.
But I love him...That was always my excuse at the end of every day that summer. Those nights spent awake wishing to be anything but real, the face of a harsh reality was revealed, and every special moment broken. You felt special because he was yours? People are not possessions. When you do that, you … Continue reading It’s easy to see it in hindsight, but in the moment everything feels so rushed; it’s impossible to tell up from down, or wrong from right..or living from dying..
There are times when we feel as if we can really understand ourselves, far past the point of contradictions and the strong belief that we have a limited sense of self, constricting a personality, now limited to a certain sense of reality; imagination now a poor joke, a small laugh in the corner of society. … Continue reading Walking through life I feel fake. I smile and think I’m faking it. Maybe I am, but probably not, and it doesn’t even matter anymore.
Why would things have to turn out like this, huh? Can anyone give me an answer that would calm me down, turn my radical sense of self-loathing into a more calm, rational sense of mild self-hatred? I am aware; I am a creature of habit. I fall into the holes of life not because of … Continue reading I know the right steps to take, and spending a week in the hospital because I downed to many prescription pills is not one of those steps. So why did I just do that?