I caught up to you, on the last train of the night. For me, it’s the last train home. But where is this train taking you? I can tell it’s not taking you home, but it’s still the last train, so where is it you want this train to take you? ~Beyond the tracks, past … Continue reading “I’ve never known where I was going, I just knew I had to keep moving. But even without a destination in mind, I think I always sort of knew this is where I’d end up. In the end, we all reach the end we were destined for.”
It's not like I felt 100% secure in myself before, but I didn’t feel exposed all the time. I cared about how I looked, but only to what I considered a normal degree. I spent time each morning doing my hair, making sure it looked nice, and that was that; I didn’t waste anymore time … Continue reading I hate feeling alone… and I hate feeling scared, used and abused… but what I hate most of all is this inescapable sense of being open game. I hate feeling so vulnerable.
Another day, another bottle’s contents swirling in my stomach, melting away the anxiety and replacing it with a physical sensation akin to choking. Or perhaps my throat is actually swollen shut? My lungs might be filling up with cheap liquor and cigarette smoke, leaving no room for something as silly as a chemical reaction turning … Continue reading And I know I’d waste my last words on something stupid, like “I’m sorry,” or “I never stopped loving you.”
I’m not a fan of flowers, or at least not real ones. I like paintings of flowers. I like buying fancy parchment with flowery borders. I like writing poems about purple irises, yellow daffodils and pink tulips. I like doodling roses on my notepad during boring office meetings. I like the idea of throwing the … Continue reading “She doesn’t give you rose tinted glasses, she just paints you the colors you were always meant to wear.”
Our kisses were the best. From the very beginning, When they were shy and unbalanced, To spending whole evenings Buried in each others faces. Those exchanges were wonderful, And time made them unforgettable. Kisses through the Summer, Seasoned with familiarity, Containing a dash of desire, A sprinkling of passion And the unmistakable rush Of a … Continue reading “For all the feelings I’ve managed to capture in my words, I’ve never managed to write down anything that could compare to the feeling of kissing you.”
8/24/2018 – Today marks a major milestone in my life as a hermit; I’ve managed to survive 3 solid months without setting foot inside a store/restaurant. Between ordering all my dry/canned goods through Amazon (I abuse my Prime membership) and using only drive-thru windows for my fast food addiction, I’ve avoided having to stand in … Continue reading The Daily Adventures of Taylor Finn! Day 4 – “Who says you can’t survive on only ramen and vanilla coke?”
8/21/18 - It was a rather poor start to my weight loss journey, pretty much the exact opposite of what I should be doing if my goal is anything other than “gain 300 pounds and die of a heart attack at age 30.” I woke up too late to cook myself breakfast, so I planned … Continue reading The Daily Adventures of Taylor Finn, Day 1 – “Wow, I suck at dieting.”
Caught up, staring at the ones holding the upper hand, we find ourselves sliding off into another land, the never-mind jesters and forget-me-not winks of a foreign thought, a slight muse, a stupid, undeniably stupid dream. ~I wanted to hear something; not just words, but meaning and emotion. I wanted to be chased, but not … Continue reading “What is love when we use it so much, say it so often, that it becomes nothing more than static waves, background noise to the nights spent yelling and screaming and drowning in this thing called love…”
So, what now? I’m at a tipping point, and I don’t want to spend another year, another summer, another second, wasting away. I want to be done dreaming. I want to see my world for what it is, and not what my pride twists it into. I know I’m not worth anything, yet my greedy … Continue reading “I don’t want to start over…only to end up a broken mess. I can’t imagine what happiness looks like, I can only imagine an ending where I’ve failed again..”
You were coloring in my lights, Drenching a binary world A pallet of contradictions. Unbalanced, indiscriminate yellow, Stoplights shaded evergreen, And as your lips buzzed my name, I felt the edges of a wave That promised to dye My timid October orange Every variant of the red Lurking in my veins.