I understand that what I’m doing isn’t exactly “healthy,” okay? I can comprehend that the momentary sense of euphoria is the result of a release of endorphins in response to the pain. I could get the same effect from something like running, or fucking. Yet here I am, all alone, exhausted from doing fuck all … Continue reading “Life with you wasn’t perfect, but it was only with you that I found myself grateful that I was alive.”
Tag: alone
“With nothing to keep me grounded, all I can do is drift towards the Sun, waiting for gravity, or at least something like that.”
When gravity fails you don’t fall, instead you drift away into the sky as the heat from the sun increases to give you the world worst case of sunburn, and so you are left waiting as you drift, waiting on anything, something, to come save you. Now, replace gravity with love and the same rules … Continue reading “With nothing to keep me grounded, all I can do is drift towards the Sun, waiting for gravity, or at least something like that.”
“I wanted to hear something; not just words, but genuine heart. I wanted to be chased, but not if it meant forcing you to chase me.”
Beyond my understanding The goodness I showed to you Trying not to run From common insecurities If every breath felt the same The sharp intake of oxygen to my brain It’s all the same for you I’m just the same to you You didn’t need it; you didn’t need it My heartbeat, soft as a … Continue reading “I wanted to hear something; not just words, but genuine heart. I wanted to be chased, but not if it meant forcing you to chase me.”
“Draw from me all that you need, I won’t deny you a single thing. Just promise that when you’re feeling okay, someday, you’ll come back for me.”
I regret a lot of things. I regret not getting into bitcoin when it was just starting up. I regret going to college for a degree in Accounting when I hate all things business. I regret not upgrading my popcorn to a large bucket at the movies last week, and using my savings to purchase … Continue reading “Draw from me all that you need, I won’t deny you a single thing. Just promise that when you’re feeling okay, someday, you’ll come back for me.”
“I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”
Sleeping in is a luxury far removed from my reality. My bed still calls to me every morning, giving the utmost effort to hold me down. But this isn’t an act of kinship with my sheets, rather my sheets are hellbent on smothering me into nothingness. I’m laying facedown, surrounded in a sea of tumbling … Continue reading “I know I’m fucked up, because I’d rather suffer in your shadow than try and make it in this world without you…”
“No matter how much I think I’ve grown, I fall short, because the world has been growing too, and I just can’t keep up…”
It only takes a few seconds, or maybe less. Perhaps it’s just a blink, a flash of the sun through a pinhole in air-dried cotton sheets, or a shooting star racing towards the center of a black hole, erupting at the bend in our universe, where all events lose focus, lose time, lose everything except … Continue reading “No matter how much I think I’ve grown, I fall short, because the world has been growing too, and I just can’t keep up…”
“You held my hand, and through all of my ups and downs, you never let me go.”
But it’s not enough to say you just held on, because it was more. It was everything. You never loosened your grip. Even though I stopped trying and resigned myself to this bottomless pit that was my life, you didn’t falter. I don’t know how many times I fell down, but each time felt like … Continue reading “You held my hand, and through all of my ups and downs, you never let me go.”
“Tomorrow is where I placed all of my hopes, but I should have saved something, anything, to get me through today…”
It's never as bad as I think it is, until I take another look in the mirror. My stomach transforms into a pretzel as the realization "I can always get worse" really begins to sink in. The old scars are so faint now that if I avoid bright lights nobody could even see them. I … Continue reading “Tomorrow is where I placed all of my hopes, but I should have saved something, anything, to get me through today…”
“In my heart, time stands still. Nothing changes, nothing grows… no matter how deep I go, I can’t cut myself free from you…”
This is how our world ends, In that space between a heartbeat And where our worst thoughts Are lost into open air. Isn’t it strange how acute A simple sound can be? How an uneven pitch can cut The same as any knife? Lines we set in sturdy stone Are whittled down into dust, Nothing … Continue reading “In my heart, time stands still. Nothing changes, nothing grows… no matter how deep I go, I can’t cut myself free from you…”
“I might have said that I no longer believe in love, but today, I realized I was wrong; the love I believed in was never really there to begin with.”
But somewhere, in all that anger, is the pale heart of somebody who wants to be loved.










